One-Offs Pt. 2

February 2016



Remember when we fell, tumbling, swirling in a twister of young, wild uninhibited love? We couldn’t question it, we didn’t mention it, our hearts were louder than our minds. We could hear the protest of logic against our wild ride.

You and I….

Back when we were “you and I”… attractive, active, fearless and careless.

We were a fucking mess.

Magically, mystically, intertwined and in my mind we were


We trusted. We lusted. We knew everything was okay, everyday. I believed so strongly in you, the things you do. The dreams and things we believed. Wholeheartedly. You and me. We were so magnetic. Energetic. Knetic.

Everyone said. You took my hand and lead. Reassured me. Called me “baby”.

No, we aren’t crazy. Just…. Maybe….

This was it.

Pure. True. Bliss…

What did I miss?


I eat though I am not hungry.

I drink though I am not thirsty.

Maybe because I know I need to fill

All the emptiness inside me.

I take it all on

Fill it to the brim, then cram in more.

Maybe if I shove enough in

I can purge this sickness (sadness) from my core.

I don’t know when it’s enough

I never want to stop

I indulge in you, all of you… addicted to the feeding, unaware of the consequences

Waistline expanding, body rejecting.

Until I am alone, hurting, processing, overindulging, overdosing.

They tell me to stop. They tell me to slow down.

No one can take in and on so much.

You’re what I need to survive and you’re killing me.


A tank full of gas, a heart full of adventure.

24 years down, 360 miles to go…


Scar tissue disguised and decorated as battle scars

Badges of honor. For heroics. For bravery.

Proof I survived you.

Proof that the deepest wounds will close.

Even if it’s too ugly, grotesque to face head-on.  I can heal, too.

Makes your stomach churn to see the mutilation

My complacent self-infliction…Silence lead to my victimization.

The body is merely a vessel.

The soul is indestructable.

My oozing flesh scares them away.


The wounds will only survive to my saliva.

Self-soothing with a rough, wet, tongue.

Needle and thread. Needle and thread.

Cut me splice me with lies that you said.

Suture the wounds, Sanitize the scene

Close the flesh, you won’t infect me again.

Burn off the ends, watch the memories fall away

Bring life back to the heart tissue; dead, cold gray.

Put on the gloves, handle the old heart with care

Dispose of the biohazard, destroyed beyond all repair.

Needle and thread. Needle and thread.

Hardly alive, but not quite dead.


One look was all it took

To start dreaming with you.

One glance and I’m entranced;

My life has begun anew.

One wink, now I think

What love birds sing is true:

All you need is one, from “The One”

To forever be two.

I’ll never be “just one” again…

Now that I’ve found you.


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